A Little Late To the 2019 Review Party

I realize that I am a little late when it comes to writing a look back at the year that was 2019. And by a little late I mean a couple of weeks. But here we are now in the final week of January 2020 finally getting around to looking back at the year that was. Better late than never, right?

In terms of cycling, 2019 was a down year for me. In some areas, it felt like stagnation and like regression in others. My power numbers seemed like they plateaued, my training was in consistent, and in the few races I did it felt like my results were getting worse. And to top it all off, I pretty much didn’t do anything on this website or over on the YouTube channel despite having plans to do so. But I am looking ahead now, hitting 2020 with a new perspective, and not dwelling on the negative.

Dam Cross action.

But in my personal life, 2019 was one of the best years ever.

In August, we welcomed our first child into this world, Webster Phineas. So of course everything changed and I definitely didn’t have an ideal preparation for cyclocross season. I am frequently surprised by how much I am enjoying being a father. It definitely has it downs and ups but things are always better when he smiles at me. How can I be mad when he has shit all up his back but starts smiling and giggling as soon as I put him down on the change table.

Webster has also given me a new perspective on my cycling. At first, I thought that I would like to achieve something with my cycling that would someday make my son proud of me but I came to realize that this bike racing thing is just for fun and there is more to life than riding around in circles.

It all changed after I finished a cyclocross race and was feeling really down on myself for my performance. But as I walked up to him all he did was smile. He didn’t care if I was first or last, he just cared that I was there. And I don’t think that will change as he grows up.

Webster

This was further reinforced by an episode of The Cosby Show. Dr. Huxtable was teaching a soon-to-be new father how to play basketball because the man was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to do those typical father-son activities like playing sports and would fail as a father. Bill points out that little kids don’t care if you are actually good at basketball but even just hitting the backboard is enough to impress them. As the soon-to-be father continues to practice, it is young Theo who reveals the real truth to him. Theo tells him that he didn’t care about if his father was good at basketball, that’s not what he remembers, all that mattered is that his father was there and playing with him.

And that is what it is all about. Race results don’t matter. Functional threshold power doesn’t matter. Watts per kilo don’t matter. All that will matter is that I am there for Webster when he needs me. Hopefully someday we will be able to share a passion for cycling. That is the outlook that I am taking into 2020 with me.

And in my next blog I will talk a little bit about my plans and goals for 2020. So stay tuned for that!